Preparing for the More God Has for Me: Expose Where My Strength Has Become Self-Reliance

Apart from me you can do nothing. — John 15:5

I'm preparing to walk the Camino de Santiago again, and this year, I'm carrying my backpack.

I've been thinking a lot about what it means to become strong enough to carry more, which led me to want to write an entire series, Preparing for the More God Has for Me. Catch Parts 1–3 on the Daily Godpreneur homepage..

As I continue to go deeper, another question has been bothering me:

What if my strength is actually part of the problem?

I don't mean strength is bad… I mean I've become pretty good at carrying things.

Physically, CrossFit has strengthened me since 2010.

And owning a business since 2005 has strengthened me entrepreneurially.

When there's a problem, I solve it.

When revenue needs to come in, I sell.

When something needs to be created, I build it.

When the company needs direction, I provide it.

When there's uncertainty, I make a decision and move.

I've been doing this long enough that I've developed a pretty high capacity for pressure…and I know that's a gift from God.

HOWEVER, EVERY GIFT HAS A SHADOW SIDE.

The danger of becoming really good at carrying things is that eventually you can start believing you're the one carrying everything. That's where strength quietly becomes self-reliance, and I can see places where that's happened in me.

Right now, I'm CEO of my company. I'm also still responsible for most of our sales. At the same time, we're building the sales organization that should eventually make the company less dependent on me.

That means I'm…

….selling while documenting how I sell.

….leading while building leaders.

….running the company while trying to redesign the company so it doesn't require me to run everything.

And somehow, I keep carrying it.

Long days.

Late nights.

Weekends.

Problems.

Decisions.

Pressure.

And when you've operated like that long enough, something dangerous can happen: you stop being surprised by how much you're carrying, and you start expecting yourself to carry it.

That's why Jesus' words in John 15 hit me differently right now.

He doesn't say:

“Apart from me you can accomplish a little less.”

He says:

Apart from me you can do nothing. — John 15:5

That's a difficult verse for a high-capacity entrepreneur, because if I'm being truthful, there are plenty of days where it feels like I can do quite a lot apart from Him.

I can make calls.

I can close deals.

I can solve problems.

I can lead meetings.

I can develop strategy.

I can work sixteen hours.

And the results might even look pretty good.

SO WHAT DOES JESUS MEAN?

John 15 isn't really a productivity lesson.

Jesus is describing a vine and its branches.

A branch can only produce lasting fruit because it remains connected to the source of its life, and I think that's the distinction I've been wrestling with.

I can produce activity without abiding…

I can produce revenue without abiding…

I can produce ideas without abiding…

I can even produce what looks like success without abiding…

But I cannot produce the kind of fruit Jesus is talking about apart from Him.

That's a much more uncomfortable measurement.

Because entrepreneurship tends to measure what's happening around me: revenue, growth, employee count, new clients acquired, new opportunities in the pipeline.

But Jesus keeps bringing the measurement back to what's happening inside me.

Am I becoming more loving, patient, peaceful, generous, self-controlled, obedient…and more dependent on God?

Because it's possible for the company to be getting stronger while the man leading it is becoming spiritually weaker. That's what I DON'T want, especially if there really is “more” ahead.

If my company doubles, triples, or grows ten times from where it is today, my natural abilities aren't going to become less dangerous, they'll become more dangerous if they're disconnected from God.

More money amplifies something.

More influence amplifies something.

More authority amplifies something.

More opportunity amplifies something.

The question is: what will it amplify in me?

That's why maybe preparing for more isn't simply about increasing my capacity.

Maybe God also needs to expose the places where I've confused capacity with sufficiency.

There's a difference between saying:

“God has made me strong.”

and:

“I'm strong enough without God.”

The first is stewardship, the second is self-reliance.

And the line between them can become surprisingly thin for entrepreneurs.

We pray desperately when the business is failing.

We seek God when we don't know what to do.

We surrender when we've run out of options.

But what happens when we're good at what we do?

What happens when the business is growing?

What happens when we know how to make money?

What happens when people look to us for answers?

What happens when experience has taught us how to solve most of the problems in front of us?

Do we still abide?

That's the question I'm carrying into Camino.

Because carrying a 30 pound backpack for hundreds of kilometers is going to require strength.

I've trained my body for that, but I don't want the lesson of this Camino to be…look how strong I've become. I want it to remind me where my strength comes from.

There's a huge difference between being a strong man and being a self-sufficient man.

I want to be strong physically, mentally, financially, as a leader, as a husband, as a father, and as a Godpreneur.

But I never want my strength to convince me that I've outgrown dependence. In fact, maybe maturity in Christ as an entrepreneur looks like the opposite: the stronger I become, the more aware I become of the Source of that strength.

SO MY PRAYER AS I PREPARE FOR CAMINO IS:

Father, expose where my strength has become self-reliance.

Show me where competence has replaced dependence.

Show me where experience has replaced prayer.

Show me where working harder has replaced trusting You.

Show me where my ability to solve problems has made me forget to seek You.

Thank You for making me strong enough to carry what You've entrusted to me, but never let me confuse the strength You've given me with independence from You.

If You're preparing me for more, don't just increase my capacity, increase my dependence.

Because I don't want the next season of my business life to become a testimony to how much I could carry, I want it to become a testimony to what became possible because I stayed connected to the One carrying me.

Amen.