Updated: Apr 23, 2021
Let’s define confidence. What does confidence mean to you? In my opinion, it meant never showing my weaknesses, letting others know my doubts, and pretending that it was all good in front of others.
My understanding of confidence meant that I had to keep myself distant from others’ insecurities. I applied to jobs with this same mindset, and I was trusted to perform in every one of them, even when I didn’t have the experience to accomplish the tasks; and this was because of the mask I wore.
Some of you may relate to my journey in one way or another; maybe it wasn’t the way you showed up for a job. Still, it was when you were meeting someone you love, or perhaps it was trying to fit into the popular crowd; either way, the fear of your insecurities has to lead you to show up in a way your insecurities still drive you to show up.
Here is what Google has to say about the meaning of Confidence
Confidence: it’s the feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something; firm trust.
"We had every confidence in the staff."
It’s the state of feeling sure about the truth of something.
"it is not possible to say with confidence how much of the increase in sea levels is due to melting glaciers."
It’s a feeling of self-assurance arising from one's appreciation of one's abilities or qualities.
"she's brimming with confidence."
As I dive deeper into the meaning of confidence and look back at my life before I knew about my identity in Christ, I asked myself, is it possible to genuinely have this confidence level in oneself and others?
At a very young age, I learned that putting my absolute trust into someone or something was a guaranteed recipe for disappointment. We, human beings, are born with a sinner nature, and we are vulnerable to disappointment and fall short on anything we say or do.
What about the state of feeling sure about the truth of something: How can we be so sure about information that derived from another sinner just like you and me and in whom we have no proof of? I often see family members and those around me living by what they hear and even make life-changing decisions because of those stating their facts, what they believe to be true.
This also is a recipe for disappointment and lack of trust in others.
Lastly, according to Google’s dictionary, Confidence also means;
“A feeling of self-assurance arising from one’s appreciation of one’s abilities or qualities.”
Growing up, I had little understanding of who God truly is and who we are in Him; I grew up in a catholic home, attending catholic school till the age of eight, but never had a relationship with God. I despised those who called themselves Catholics or followed some sort of religion because their talk did not match their walk, which led me to quickly rebel against those who wanted me to believe in their words, themselves, and the bible.
By this time, my only choice, I thought, was to rely on my “Self-Confidence,” which was also a recipe for failure and disillusion. I began to rely on my image for self-confidence, which made me feel good about myself but only for a short period. I also relied on my capabilities only to feel disappointment when I let myself down or was told by someone else that I was not good enough. I relied on my possessions and accomplishments to only fall short when those did not fill my expectations.
Self-confidence without a solid, godly foundation [God’s Divine confidence] is not the answer but instead a path to disappointment and destruction that leads to denial in one’s participation and responsibility for the consequences of our actions and choices.
As women in business, it becomes easy to binge on “self,” we live in an environment that leads us to worship “self,” believing that we are “self-made,” but this can not be further from God’s truth. It is the path that keeps us trapped and further from knowing about God’s Divine Confidence. It’s the thing that the enemy uses to keep us going in circles until disappointment defeats us in self and others leading us to doubt our existence.
The Bible says:
Thus says the Lord: “Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart turns away from the Lord. Jeremiah 17: 5
It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man. Psalms 118: 8
Woe to those who go down to Egypt for help and rely on horses, who trust in chariots because they are many and in horsemen because they are very strong, but do not look to the Holy One of Israel or consult the Lord! Isaiah 31: 1
For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. Galatians 6:3
Perhaps growing up, your story is different from mine. You either grow up with a solid, godly foundation or not; either way, your life experiences have led you to put your trust in the things you see, touch, and hear without discerning the foundation of those who share their truth.
You feel disappointed in yourself and those around you. You’ve reached a point of exhaustion. You are at a point you can’t seem to find a way out.
I invite you to put the bat down and instead use that time and energy in growing your relationship with the Lord and ask Him to give you his Divine Confidence, one that is not shaken by the standards of the world.
When we do this, we learn to take responsibility for our part and live a life out of Denial; we become aware of ourselves and have the choice to seek what God has to say. We learn to take responsibility for our actions and preferences. We remove the weight we put on other people when we expect perfection from them or hold them responsible for our life’s outcome.
When putting our confidence in God, how much quicker we could step into our purpose and be the Brand ambassadors God has called us to be?