I’ve been married since 2011. Before that I was a nightclub promoter for 10 years. Needless to say, getting married was going to be a big battle for me since I’d been living an entire decade around a culture where having tons of girls that are friends was the name of the game.
The other day I had a co-worker come into the office to knock out important work. She’s amazing, a really hard worker and extremely smart.
Lunch time came around and neither of us brought lunch. We had to go grab somewhere.
I immidiately remember that I had committed to “set boundaries” around lunches with women. What if my wife or friends would see me out? They don’t know she’s my co-worker.
So I grabbed my partner and the 3 of us went to lunch.
We don’t all have the same past I had, but we all have the same enemy around us that wants to destroy our relationships.
We might not think it can happen to us, so we’re reluctant to set the same boundaries for our self. Now, that does not necessarily mean that by not setting boundaries our intention is to cross a line with the opposite sex. Usually it means that we have a false sense of our own capability to handle any situation at any time the way it needs to be handled.
My experience as an entrepreneur says you are playing with fire. Any time we think that we are not vulnerable, we are fooling ourselves. All of us are vulnerable and I am including myself in this.
The bible says
Indeed, there is not a righteous man on earth who always does good and who never sins.
ECCLESIASTES 7:20 AMP
For me, acknowledging my vulnerability is a smart move. Now I can set the boundaries in place that not only will keep me from crossing the line but will keep me far away from that line in the first place.
Being an entrepreneur comes with this “whatever it takes” mentality that says that boundaries with the opposite sex are not really necessary. Having lunch or dinner with a potential prospect (especially a big one with lots of money) is okay. Traveling out of town with someone is okay, especially to close that major deal. After all, it is a business trip to grow the company! These things that culture says are okay can often be the first step to an affair. Every affair begins with some type of encounter. Limiting or eliminating those encounters is essential.
My co-worker and I had a great lunch, and my partner tagged along and it was especially helpful because he provided some valuble insight on a project we were on.
My point is this: Good, solid, well thought out boundaries for entrepreneurs in relationships are essential. Yes, there may be consequences as you follow them but in the big picture what’s really most important?
Godpreneurs, take time this week to reassess your boundaries or create them if you have never had any. Think of five boundaries in your business that you can put in place to protect your relationship.
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- What boundaries do you currently have in place to protect your relationships when it comes to business dealings with the opposite sex?
- Make time this week to sit down with the person you’re in relationship with and discuss boundaries. Get on the same page about boundaries. Hear each other’s concerns, and respect the boundaries that will make your significant other feel secure in your relationship.
- It’s important that boundaries aren’t just physical boundaries but that they also protect you against emotional affairs. What boundaries can you put in place to make sure you are not seeking emotional needs from others that you should be getting from your significant other?
Pray over the boundaries you have set and ask God to help protect your relationships.